Saturday, May 3, 2014

What the hell happened?

Seriously, what is going on? First, Abe puts us in the car. At first I thought it was, like, we were going to the dog park or something, but he doesn’t usually bring Inka. And she was in the car too. Then, I thought maybe we were going to the Spa. That’s what Abe says when they disappear for a few days and Inka is in a doohickey and Pearl and I are in a whatchamajiggy. It’s like we get fed and bathed and pet and stuff, yet Abe and Elle aren’t around.
But this took FOREVER to get the park. So long, Pearl barfed in the car.
Then, there’s… OMG. Tree floors? Pearl says they’re Pergo. I’m not sure what that is, but the floors are made of dead wood. Wood is what we pee on. For that, I’m certain.

Alas, I’ve segregated myself to the carpet, because I know that I don’t pee on rugs.

For some reason, we’re in a new place, and Abe and Elle don’t seem to want to bring me back home. Pearl says we’ve “moved.” I move all the time. In the backyard. Running after squirrels, rabbits, and, I don’t know, leaves? There’s no freaking grass here! I mean… well, there wasn’t grass in our backyard, but that’s Abe’s fault. That’s what Elle kept muttering under her breath whenever she looked at the backyard. If Abe wouldn’t keep throwing the balls away, I wouldn’t keep bringing them back to him there. Isn’t that that whole recycle thing Elle keeps harping on him about anyway?

So, yeah, Pearl says we’ve moved into a “condo.” What is that? Some sort of Ronald Reagan things?
Pearl has staked her territory against others.
No, that was Contra, Pearl says. What does she know? It’s not like she was around then. I just heard Abe talking about it the other day. “Oliver North is a national treasure,” he said. He sure sounded serious, but sometimes it’s hard to tell.
Inka seems to have taken to her surroundings. I mean other than her rolling around on my island of carpet, she’s none the worse for wear. Me? I can’t seem to get over these guys walking on dead trees. You don’t know who’s peed there. Seriously.
There's lots of rocks to see too!

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