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Saturday, February 23, 2013

Er, domestic tranquility.

Well, everything's wonderful. It's grand. Not a worry in the world. All five of us happy as can be. Pearl's dancing through a field of tulips. Abe's not hearing any whining or meowing of any sort. Nope. None whatsoever. It's like he's got cotton in his ears or something. Yep. We're just fine.
Oops. Where did that come from. No really. Everything's grand. Nothing's wrong. Right? Nada del mundo!
Crap. Fine. You've got me. Things are, well, challenging. That's how Elle puts it. Abe says it's *bleeped* up. Elle has always been the more diplomatic of the two, Pearl says. I've only been around these guys for two years so how would I know?

They missed my birthday the other day, by the way, but who's caring? It's not like a cat joins the family and oops, let's just forget to celebrate a milestone. You know, I'm only gonna get like 10 or 12 more of those. You know. Not important at all.

Anyway, me and Inka are buds. See?
Here we are chilling. Watching the snow melt. Well, not really. I've got my eye on that squirrel over there, and Inka's checking out the birds in the bushes. But yeah, we're good like that.

Pearl... well. She's not happy. But you know? How can you not be with this?
She gets to sit on the couch? What am I, chopped liver? But can you blame Abe and Elle? Would ya just look at them eyes?

Anyway. I'm mad at Pearl for being mad at Inka. I feel torn. Which girl am I gonna like more?

Here's a parting thought.

Oh, wait, you don't speak dog? It's "Get me the *bleep* outta here!"

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Who is this?

Well, hello! You're like a small dog, right? So can we be friends?

Finally it's revealed that we have a new friend in the house. Someone has joined the pack. Become a member of the team. A new mascot maybe? IDK. All I know is that Pearl is livid. I mean, like damn girl, take a chill pill. Know what I'm saying? Geez.

Our new pal says her name is Inka. That explains why I thought Abe and Elle were going back to Peru. Turns out Inka is a cat. That's cool cuz I like cats. I mean, maybe not love `em. OK, she's pretty terrifying. Have you seen her take down a feather thingy?
Yeah. Scared me too.
But here we are all happy as a clam. Well, maybe not happy. Have I mentioned she scares the crap out of me?
Here I am all being tentative and stuff.
Inka is hunting me down here. I'm not that scared, am I?
Of course I'm confidently welcoming her into my house.
How's Pearl handling all this? Well, let's just say it's a work in progress.
So hopefully Pearl will settle. IDK. Abe and Elle seem pretty adamant about Inka staying. I heard `em myself.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Something wicked.

Now I know I'm not supposed to think this, but strange things have been happening since whatever is in the guest room arrived. It is a "guest," right? Like, it's not staying. For sure.

So like I said, the day IT arrived weird things started happening. Case in point. In the garage, Elle just got back from somewhere or something and BAM!

"Abe!" she yells.

"What?" he yells back. "What happened?"

"A spring sprung on the garage door," she said. "I mean, what's the luck in that?"

"Huh," Abe said.
He went back to whatever it was he was doing. Probably sitting there drinking coffee or reading the paper while Elle was doing all the work or something.

Then yesterday in the backyard this happened.
It's like a pigeon blew up. WOOSH!

Then Pearl found this.
What is this, and why is it in the office? That's my turf, yo!

Monday, February 4, 2013

Inka what?

What are these smells emanating from the room down the hall? I can't figure it out. Can't barely smell it myself. I know there's SOMETHING making noises down there. With ears like mine, I can hear that. Why have Abe and Elle put up the gate? I mean, they never put that at the mouth of the hallway.

Pearl says she smells something. She's a hound so I kinda believe what she says. She's always sniffing out trouble in the backyard like when a raccoon or opossum was there. I remember when the fox was in the neighborhood and she went ape-shit crazy, pardon my French, over that.

Elle said something about Inca, and I swear they weren't planning another trip to Peru because I know Abe talks about how he met some dude named Montezuma there and wouldn't like to meet him again.

Weird.

Pearl was able to smuggle this photo off of Abe's phone.
God, he's the worst photographer. Ever. Can't tell really what the heck this is. A feather? Honestly, who takes this photo and doesn't delete it immediately?

Anyway, what's afoot?