Saturday, September 24, 2011

F-u Dog Park.

"How many classes does one dog really need?"
Me learning.
That's what I heard Abe mutter under his breath the other day when I was in class with Elle.  Yes, Abe, I heard you!  He was sitting on the side of the ring practically falling asleep.  Granted, it was late.  Who has a class at 8 PM on a weekday?  I know!  He and I should have been playing in the backyard or watching TV together in the living room or something.  You think I'm not sympathetic?  Who's the one "learning" here?

Nevertheless, Elle has enrolled me in yet another class.  It's my thrid.  This is Prebasicsubnoviceagilitytraining or some such nonsense.  All I know is that we never get to actually say "hi" to my new friends in class.  We stand like six feet from each other.  How are we gonna nose-up on each other from so far away?  If there's an upside, it's the cookies I get for looking at Elle all the time.  She's stingy with the treats otherwise.  So, I guess I've got to stare at her to make her happy.  Who's got the ego here?  Meanwhile, Abe's asleep in the corner.  Sigh.  What I must do to keep this family together.  Geez.

Well, another bonus for the week was going to Allerton Park.
F-U Dog.
Wait a second, Pearl just informed me that there is no hyphen in Fu Dog.  My bad.  I thought this was in reference to last weeks run in at the dog park.  Well, Elle took me to this park where blue dogs sit on pedestals all day.  I looked around for some Democrats like it was some kind of political convention, but all I could find were soapboxes.

Anyway, these Fu Dogs don't look anything like a dog I've seen, but maybe that's just me.  They look more lionish than anything, but whatever.  People are weird.  Anyway, we hung out and hiked.  Here's me and a tree.
Me and a tree.
Well... seems like we have football again tomorrow.  All I know is that Bears are playing.  I can't imagine bears playing fetch being better than me, but Abe and Elle seem to like watching them.  I can only hope we'll get to play football, too.  Right?

Monday, September 19, 2011

Why rest on the weekend?

I tell you.  Abe and Elle are LAME-O!  They want to sleep-in on weekends.  Not me.  Weekends are week-starters.  When else do I get to hang with friends around a fire, go to the dog park, and play football?  Heck, I even got to chill with my girlfriend Bailey.  I ♥ Bailey!

Friday, Abe and I went to Bailey's place where Shin and Eve decided to burn a Christmas tree.  I don't know why exactly you'd want to burn a tree.  Hello?  I mean, the last time we went camping, Pearl and Bailey didn't get along.  That's dangerous enough for me.  Add fire, and... well.  Fire's dangerous?  Let alone burning a Christmas tree, of all things.  I know nothing about them, you know... trees.  Yes, I like to tinkle on them now and again, so I don't really understand why burning one would be such fun.  But a Christmas tree?  Er... isn't that, like, anti-Christmas?  I don't know about you, but I don't want to be associated with that come December.  Just saying.

Nevertheless... the humans thought it'd be a good idea to light a tree on fire.  Here's the results:
The fire reached about 15 feet into the air.  It went off like a rocket.  Not that I know what a rocket is, but that's what Abe said as he stepped about 20 feet back from the fire.  I don't know if you notice me flying by behind it.  Active pants and all.  Bailey, on the other hand, didn't care for the fire so much.  Maybe she knows something I don't, but she made sure that Eve sat between her and the fire at all times.

On Saturday, we hit the dog park.
"You have something on the lens."

Me and a new friend.  He/she was friendly.  I like friendly dogs.

Bailey (♥) with her frisbee thingy.
Me and the new Chuck-it ball.
Sometimes there are people fights at the dog park.  Weird, cuz usually I associate dog fights at a dog park, but whatever.  Anyway, Abe told off a bully German Shepard that was picking on me.  I told Abe I could take care of myself, but you know how "owners" are.  Nevertheless, the German Shepard's owner, let's call her Frau(n), had some choice words for Abe.  Abe, of course, well... let's just say he made my ears blush.
Yes, they blush.
If Frau(n) had to say "he's just playing," obviously the German Shepard wasn't getting my communication that said, "get the f*** outta my face, yo!"   Shrug.

Well... Sunday rolls around and then there's football.  Abe, Elle, Shin, Eve and Darbage were all excited about bears playing saints.  Now, I know nothing about bears or saints, but it just seems to me that anyone with God on their side is going to win.  Let's remember that some of these people torched a Christmas tree on Friday, after all.  I mean, was there really any doubt who was going to win after that?


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

New relative.

I had no idea I had a brother, but apparently I'm related to this guy.  It seems that Elle's father also has a friend.  His name is Semper.
Me and my "dad"... Semper.

So, by extension, I think he'd be a brother.  Wait a minute.  Maybe he's actually my father?  I mean, if he's paired up with Elle's father, and Elle's father is her father, then that would make Semper my father.  Weird.  I mean, I've never met my father, but Semper, er Dad, wasn't what I pictured in my mind.

I guess I dreamed about the day I'd meet him.  Dear old dad.  You know, like one of those bad movies where an orphaned kid finds out that he was left because of liquor or other companionship (female K-9s).  Maybe my dad was roaming the streets, maybe with one of those collars with the pointed studs on them.  A real tough guy.  Like this guy.
The dad I always wanted.

Tough.  Rugged.  Snow covered.  Searching for his long lost son.  I guess I wasn't expecting a happy-go-lucky Yellow Labrador.
Some random dog that looked like "dad."
To his credit, Semper, er Dad, has been hit by two or three cars, and I'm sure he's fathered hundreds of thousands of puppies halfway across northern Illinois.  But, you know, part of me is disappointed that I don't look more like him.  It reminds me that maybe I'm just a random accident of fate, birthed on the side of some road.  A chance life form who happened to wander into someone's yard to get picked up and put up for adoption.  Because, that is what I am.  An adoption.  I still have worth, though.  Even if Dad, er... OK.  Semper isn't really my father.  I'm loved, as far as I know.  And others out there are far worse off.